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7. Unnecessary things
The holiday magic got the best of me, and I really needed it at the start of my third trimester, just when I started getting heavier and heavier. All the family gatherings, the endless conversations and the cheerful atmosphere, but also the attention that I undoubtedly receive, are good for me. This is the first Christmas I haven't been tasked with cooking for hours to make Ivan's favorite dessert, and the first Christmas I haven't had the honor of doing the dishes. But this is the last Christmas for me, the last alone without my child. It's strange how these days I think about all the last things, before the first ones come.
Superstitious, yes, I have to admit that we have never bought a single sock for our child. We waited for time to pass and agreed that once I hit my seventh month and the holidays are over, we would focus on preparing for home with baby. But one thing we didn't anticipate was that in a time when everyone wants to be everyone's Santa Claus, my Santa Claus was obviously looking at me through special ultrasound glasses, because every single gift ignored me and was meant for the baby in me. Oh, all the things I got, I probably don't even know the name of all of them, let alone the purpose. But what few have considered is that maybe I would simply be happy with a pair of Christmas socks, a face mask, or a nice note to plan for the new year. But what does it matter what I want, right? We already established that a long time ago: the baby is in the foreground, and mom is a few places behind him. Not to sound ungrateful because we received all the gifts with lots of love, carefully chosen and very useful, but we also received more things for the baby that I simply don't want, don't know or plan to use.
Looking at the pile of baby bodysuits, pajamas, crochets, pacifiers and teddy bears, I realized that my child in the first months of his life will be dressed and surrounded by things that other people have chosen for him; that I would watch him outgrow the clothes that everyone else chose for him, except his own mother and father. Is this unusual thinking? Can I tell someone this without being labeled an ungrateful person? Yes, I know there are many parents and children in the world who dream of filling their racks with new clothes, but, simply, these are some of my thoughts and this is where I can be completely honest.
And while we're on the subject of piling up baby stuff, I'm back to square one. What do I really need? What is absolutely necessary for us now? My detailed consultation with the all-knowing Google was not only unhelpful but also completely confusing. Ten different types of beds, strollers with different mechanisms, car seats that look like they were intended for a spaceship... What do we really need to have everything, but not have EVERYTHING? How can I not overwhelm myself with unnecessary things?
As always confused and torn in countless directions, I am asking you for help, because no expert with 50 degrees can know more about these things than someone who has been through them. Mom, can you help me make my list free of unnecessary things?
Yours,
Nina